Growing Up!

The other night Matthew put Lucy to bed just as he always does. I was feeding Annie and getting her settled. I heard Lucy calling, "Mommy!" in her sing-song voice. I gave Annie over to Matt and headed up to see what our girlie wanted. She said she just wanted to tell me something and whispered something in my ear - then kissed my cheek. I gave her some big kisses and a hug. Then she asked if I would sleep with her. This is something we gave up a few months ago in order to show her that she is a big girl. But I really wanted to! So I layed down with her for a few songs (she listens to music at bedtime). While I layed down with her - we chatted a little bit. Things got quiet - then she reached over and grabbed my hand. That's when the tears began to flow. As we layed there together and she held my hand, I just layed there and sobbed! I thought about her as small as Annabelle and just not believing that she was almost 4 years old. I wanted to lay there all night.

This past Sunday was her preschool open house. I'm just not ready! Lucy, however, is very ready. My neighbor - who really encouraged me to go to this preschool - was there and just telling me to look at her - how she was becoming so independent and how she was pulling on our arms to go see her classroom. I told my neighbor that I know that when she goes this week I will be a complete mess and end up crying/sobbing the whole time she's gone. She said, "That's ok - I did too!" I was shocked - Megan seems to be so put together - I never thought she'd be a mess the day her kids went to preschool - yet she assured me she cried with all 4 of them. Now I don't feel so silly.

Although I am not ready - I know Lucy is. The last few weeks she has shocked us with her reading capabilities. We were driving and she was reading words off of billboards. Then last week she was looking at her milk carton and said, "Mommy, that says 'good food for all.'" I looked at Matt and said, "Did you tell her that's what it said?" to which he said no! Today we were sitting in my dr's office and she wanted to read a book with me. As we were reading, she kept getting excited and saying, "I know that word! Oh - I know that one too!" crazy words that I never thought she would know - sweet, happy, jump! We ended up not reading the book but just picking out words that she knew. As a former teacher - it's exciting to me that she's so excited that she knows certain words.

This week is going to be a rough one for me. Prayers appreciated!! I know she has to grow up - but I know she'll always be my little girl. I'd love to keep her that way - but as Matt has said - we need to just look at her life and be joyful and excited to see how she will grow and watch as she experiences all these new things.